What is FIFO life and why can it feel so emotionally draining?

FIFO (Fly-In Fly-Out) work involves regularly travelling away from home for extended periods to work on site, then returning home for time off. This constant cycle of leaving, adjusting to life on site, coming home, and preparing to leave again is emotionally demanding. Over time, the repeated transitions, long-distance relationships, and time away from family can lead to stress, loneliness, burnout and a quiet sense of grief, even when the job provides financial stability.

Is it normal to feel lonely, resentful or guilty in a FIFO relationship?

Yes. Many FIFO workers and partners experience mixed emotions such as loneliness, resentment, guilt and relief. Workers may feel guilty for missing milestones at home, while partners can feel overwhelmed by solo parenting and the mental load. These emotions are common responses to a challenging lifestyle, not signs that you are failing. Acknowledging them is often the first step toward getting support.

How does FIFO work affect children?

Children in FIFO families can be affected by repeated goodbyes and reunions. Some may become clingy or anxious around fly-in or fly-out days, while others may act out or withdraw. They may struggle to understand why a parent leaves so often, even if they know it is for work. Predictable routines, age-appropriate conversations, and space for children to express their feelings can help them feel more secure.

What can FIFO workers and partners do to cope with the emotional load?

Helpful strategies include creating simple routines around departures and reunions, setting realistic expectations about what home time will look like, protecting sleep and downtime, and finding small, meaningful ways to stay connected while apart. This may involve short check-in calls, sharing photos, voice notes or shared rituals. It can also be helpful for each partner to have their own support network rather than relying solely on each other.

When should a FIFO worker or family consider counselling?

Counselling can be helpful at any stage of FIFO life, but it is especially important if you notice ongoing conflict, emotional distance, burnout, sleep difficulties, anxiety, low mood, or a sense that you are constantly in survival mode. Counselling offers a confidential space to talk openly about the pressures of FIFO work, understand each person's needs and experiences, and develop tools to manage stress, communication and transitions more gently.

Can FIFO counselling be accessed online?

Yes. Many FIFO workers and partners find online counselling particularly helpful because it offers flexibility around swings, shift work and travel. Sessions can be held via secure video from home, camp or another private space, which reduces travel time and makes it easier to access support regularly. Online counselling can be just as effective as in-person therapy when you have a good fit with your counsellor.

The Emotional Toll of FIFO Life: How Distance, Uncertainty, and Constant Transition Impact Mental Health

Kimberly Freeman, BA.Psych, Dip.Couns, Registered Counsellor
Nov 22
5 min read

For many Australian families, FIFO (Fly-In Fly-Out) work offers financial stability and the chance to build a future. But what often goes unspoken is the emotional strain this lifestyle places on individuals, couples, and families. If you’re navigating this experience, you may benefit from professional support such as FIFO-focused counselling, which can help you understand and manage these emotional demands.

As a counsellor supporting many FIFO workers and partners and as someone with lived FIFO family experience, I see every day how deeply this lifestyle affects mental health.

If you’re living FIFO life, these feelings aren’t just “part of the job.” They’re signs of emotional load, fatigue, and quiet grief that deserve to be acknowledged.

Why FIFO Life Affects Mental Wellbeing More Than People Realise

FIFO living is built on continual transition:

leaving home
adjusting to life on site
returning home
reintegrating
leaving again

This repeated cycle of connection and disconnection is mentally demanding. Over time, it creates emotional exhaustion, even when the job itself seems manageable.

To find out more about this read, M anaging FIFO Stress: Mental Health Support for Remote Workers

1. Constant transition takes a toll on the nervous system

Research shows that repeated adjustments to new environments increase stress load and emotional fatigue.FIFO workers move through:

hyper-focused site mode
emotional disconnect to cope with stress
pressure to “switch on” at home
loneliness on both sides of the partnership

These transitions can create burnout, irritability, and a constant sense of internal tension.

If this resonates with you, you may also find the blog “Managing FIFO Stress: Mental Health Support for Remote Workers” helpful — it dives deeper into the day-to-day emotional load.

2. Disconnection can feel like grief. Even when nothing “bad” happened

People in FIFO families often describe a quiet sadness:

missing birthdays and weekend routines
feeling like a visitor in your own home
partners feeling like solo parents
kids struggling with the cycle of separation and reunion

This is grief — the grief of “what could have been” if life were more stable.

For more on this emotional experience, you can also read “The Hidden Cost of FIFO Life: Burnout, Stress & Finding Balance”, which explores the deeper layers of grief and fatigue in FIFO families.

If grief is a major factor, my Grief Counselling page offers more support.

3. Reunions are often harder than the separation itself

Many families expect reunions to feel joyful. But in reality, they can feel awkward, overwhelming, or tense.

Partners must renegotiate routines. Kids may cling or withdraw. Workers feel like they need to decompress but also “make up for lost time.”

This pressure can create conflict or guilt on both sides.

You can also check out, Why Family Support Matters for Children, to learn more about supporting your family through the transitions.

4. The FIFO mindset: “Don’t complain. You’re lucky to have the job”

This belief stops many FIFO workers and partners from asking for help. Financial stability doesn’t protect against emotional strain.

Mental health matters as much as income.

How FIFO Life Affects Individuals Differently

FIFO Workers

Workers often struggle with:

emotional numbness
loneliness on site
difficulty switching off
performance pressure
guilt about missing home
exhaustion that doesn’t lift, even after time off
feeling like they need to “be strong”

FIFO Partners

Partners frequently describe:

the weight of solo parenting
emotional and practical overload
feeling unseen or unappreciated
relationship strain
resentment mixed with guilt
difficulty reconnecting during home swings

FIFO Kids

Children may show:

separation anxiety
behaviour changes around fly-in/out days
anger or withdrawal
difficulty expressing emotions
confusion about the routine

None of this means the family is broken, it just means the FIFO model is emotionally heavy.

Signs FIFO Life May Be Affecting Your Mental Health

Whether you're the worker or the partner, watch for:

irritability or emotional outbursts
exhaustion beyond normal tiredness
anxiety before swings
difficulty sleeping
feeling “checked out”
loneliness even when around others
loss of motivation
feeling overwhelmed by small tasks

These are stress rsponses, not personal failings.

How to Cope With the Emotional Load of FIFO Life

1. Build predictable rituals before and after swings

This helps the nervous system adjust and reduces emotional shock.

Examples:

a 10-minute decompression routine after arriving home
a predictable goodbye routine for kids
a Sunday night reset ritual

2. Talk about expectations rather than assuming them

Many FIFO couples fight because expectations are unspoken:

“I need two hours to decompress when I get home.”
“I need reassurance that we’re okay before you leave.”
“I need help with morning routines when you’re home.”

Talking openly helps everyone feel more secure.

3. Create connection, not perfection

Connection doesn’t need to be big moments.It can be:

sending a photo from your day
a quick voice note
a nightly check-in question
shared playlists
watching a show “together” from different places

Small threads keep the relationship warm.

4. Protect your energy on site and at home

Burnout builds when energy output exceeds recovery.

FIFO workers may need:

boundaries around calls during stressful shifts
sleep protection
downtime before socialising at home

Partners may need:

breaks from solo parenting
time to decompress
emotional support from friends or professionals

Both sides deserve rest.

5. Consider counselling as a space to reconnect

FIFO-specific counselling can help you:

express what you both carry
reduce resentment
repair emotional distance
navigate transitions
understand each other’s needs
rebuild closeness and stability

FIFO families often feel misunderstood. Counselling can provide a safe space where neither person has to “be the strong one.”

You Don’t Have to Do FIFO Life Alone

FIFO is more than a work arrangement, it's a lifestyle that affects identity, relationships, and emotional well-being.

If you or your family are feeling the strain of distance, transition fatigue, or disconnection, support is available.

I offer counselling for:

FIFO workers
FIFO partners
FIFO families navigating transitions
people experiencing loneliness or burnout
couples wanting to reconnect

If you’re ready to talk to someone who understands FIFO life, you can:

Visit my Counselling Services page
Explore Grief Counselling if loss is part of your experience
Learn more about how I support families on my Family Counselling page
Or click Book a Session to schedule an appointment at a time that suits your swing or schedule

You deserve support that understands the reality of FIFO life.

Take care,

Kim

Author: Kimberly Freeman, Counsellor | Shifting Perspective Counselling, BA Psychology, Dip. Counselling

Kimberly Freeman is a qualified counsellor based in Australia. She specialises in grief and loss, FIFO family mental health, performance mindset, and emotional wellbeing. Through her private practice, Shifting Perspective Counselling, Kimberly helps clients navigate life transitions, process complex emotions, and rebuild a sense of balance and meaning after loss.

Her approach is compassionate, practical, and grounded in evidence-based therapies such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT). Kimberly offers in-person and online sessions, supporting adults and families seeking clarity, connection, and emotional healing.

References

Bowers, J., Ross, V., Farman, M., et al. “Psychological distress in remote mining and construction workers in Australia.” Medical Journal of Australia. 2018; 208(9): 389-394.— This study found elevated levels of psychological distress among remote mining and construction workers, highlighting roster type, relationship stress and stigma as key factors.

Gardner, D., Alfrey, L., & Vann, B. “Mental health and well-being concerns of fly-in fly-out workers and their partners.” Asia Pacific Journal of Human Resources. 2018; (study available via PubMed Central).

Parker, S., Fruhen, L., Burton, C., McQuade, S., Loveny, J., Griffin, M., … Esmond, J. Impact of FIFO work arrangements on the mental health and wellbeing of FIFO workers. Centre for Transformative Work Design, Western Australia; 2018.

Turner, R., et al. “Issues affecting mental health at a fly-in, fly-out mine site: A study of psychological distress and working conditions.” Journal of Applied Social Psychology. 2022; (online).

Fruhen, L. S., Parker, S., et al. “Fly-in-fly-out work: A review of the impact of an extreme work arrangement on mental health and wellbeing.” International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. 2023

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