Parent Support in Youth Sports: Building a Healthy Performance Mindset

Michelle stood at the edge of the soccer field, her heart pounding with the intensity of the match. Instead of shouting in frustration when her son missed the goal, she decided to cheer him on with a smile and  shouted, "Great effort, keep going!" That moment of encouragement not only lifted his spirits but also helped to set the tone for his growth in sports and beyond.

Parents have a big impact on how young athletes develop a healthy mindset. By offering positive support instead of pressure, parents help kids build resilience, enjoy sports, and grow over time. This article shares some research-backed tips to help parents encourage their children without overwhelming them.

What is “Performance Mindset in Kids”?

Having a performance mindset is about the attitudes and skills that help young athletes face challenges with confidence and focus. In youth sports, this mindset is built on three key needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness.

Kids need to know their value comes from effort, learning, and enjoying the process, not just winning or losing. Supporting these needs helps children take ownership of their sports experience, build confidence through skill development, and connect with coaches and teammates. When kids have this mindset, they stay motivated, handle stress better, and get more out of playing sports.

Why Parent Support Matters in Youth Sport Psychology

Research shows that a parent's behaviour can significantly influence how young athletes perceive themselves, competition, pressure, and ultimately success. A study of 325 youth athletes in China found that an autonomy-supportive coaching style (which parents can help facilitate) boosted psychological resilience and optimism. Frontiers

Another cross-sectional study of children and adolescents found that sports participation is positively associated with resilience among youth, reinforcing that regular engagement in sport (with right support) fosters mental health benefits. Frontiers

Furthermore, Sport-Based Positive Youth Development programs (SBPYD) have been shown to improve self-esteem, self-efficacy, and a sense of belonging in adolescents, especially those from underserved or inner-city backgrounds. These programs combine sports with goal-setting and personal development, which are core elements of a performance mindset. Journal of Sport for Development+1

Supporting young athletes is more than just being polite at the games. It is essential for helping them build a healthy performance mindset.

Balancing Support Without Pressure

One of the hardest things for us parents is finding the balance between motivating and pressuring our kids. Focusing too much on winning, comparing results, or setting high expectations can cause anxiety, burnout, or even make kids want to quit. Research shows that too much pressure takes away the fun and increases stress.

Here are practical strategies parents can use to support without pressuring:

• Praise Effort, Not Just Outcomes

  Recognize things like hard work, perseverance, and improvement rather than just victories. E.g., praise early morning practice, consistency, or trying new skills, rather than only wins. This encourages a growth mindset, where kids understand that skill grows with effort.

• Focus on Goals Within the Child’s Control

  Help children set process goals (e.g., improving technique, getting better at certain skills) rather than only outcome goals (like winning a tournament). This shifts their attention to what they can influence.

  
  

• Encourage Autonomy

  Let kids have a say, such as choosing which sport they want to play, deciding when they want extra practice, or what kind of goals interest them. But be sure to consider how autonomy might look different across the age groups. For an eight-year-old, choices may involve simple decisions like which position to try in a game or selecting a fun skill drill, whereas a fifteen-year-old might have more involvement in planning their training schedule or strategising improvements with a coach. Research has shown that enabling young athletes to feel they have ownership enhances resilience and optimism. Frontiers

• Normalize Failure and Setbacks

  Help children understand that mistakes are part of learning. When they lose or make a mistake, talk about what was learned, what to do differently next time, and emphasize that their worth doesn’t depend on that one outcome.

• Provide Emotional Support

  Be available to talk about anxieties, fears, or disappointments. Let them express feelings without judgment. Sometimes simply listening can help reduce internal pressure.

  
  

• Model Healthy Attitudes Yourself

  Children often mirror parental behaviour. If parents show frustration or stress around outcomes (e.g. blaming referees or focusing only on results), kids absorb that. Demonstrating calm, balanced responses to wins and losses helps them develop similar attitudes.

  
  

Strategies Parents Can Apply: Concrete Tools

Here are some tools grounded in sport psychology that parents can use:

1. Pre-game or Pre-competition Rituals

   Encourage routines that help kids feel grounded, like warming up, practicing breathing or visualization, and setting a small goal for the game such as focusing on passing well instead of just aiming to win.

   
   

2. Reflection After Games

   After practice or competition, have a conversation: What went well? What felt challenging? What would you like to work on next time? This strengthens growth mindset and self-awareness.

   
   

3. Creating a Supportive Environment

   Make sure sports stay enjoyable. Laughter, friendships, and having fun matter just as much as competition.

   • Avoid comparing with siblings or peers.

   • Celebrate small wins: improved timing, consistency, effort.

   
   

4. Education for Parents

   Parents can benefit from learning more about youth sport psychology: how kids develop mentally, common stressors (e.g. peer pressure, fear of failure), strategies for resilience. Some parent-education programs have been shown to improve how parents support children in sports. tandfonline.com

   
   

Signs That the Support May Be Tipping Into Pressure

Even well-intended support can become harmful if certain signs emerge. Parents should watch for:

• Child expresses dread, anxiety, or doesn’t want to go to practice.

• Declining motivation, increasing avoidance of sport.

• Perfectionistic tendencies or fear of mistakes.

• Physical or mental burnout: fatigue, irritability, declining performance.

If you notice these signs, try to step back and think about how you talk about sports and what expectations you set. It might be time to make some changes.

Benefits of Building a Healthy Performance Mindset

When parents provide balanced, supportive guidance, young athletes tend to experience:

• Greater resilience — ability to bounce back from losses or mistakes. Frontiers+1

• Improved mental health — lower anxiety, higher self-esteem, feeling of belonging. Journal of Sport for Development+2ScienceDirect+2

• Sustained enjoyment and long-term participation — kids are more likely to stay with sport when the environment is positive and their own progress is recognized.

• Enhanced performance under pressure — ability to maintain focus, manage nerves, and perform more consistently.

Putting It All Together: A Parent Action Plan

Here’s a sample action plan for parents who want to help build their child’s performance mindset in youth sports. A weekly schedule can help parents visualize and implement consistent actions effectively.

Here’s a suggested outline:

Monday: Begin the week with a positive conversation about the upcoming goals. Discuss what your child is excited about and any challenges they foresee. Set a small, achievable goal for the week.

Wednesday: During or after practice, focus on a particular skill or aspect that the child wishes to improve. Encourage them to reflect on their effort rather than the outcome, emphasizing improvement and skill development.

Saturday: Reserve time for reflection. Engage in a discussion about the week's experiences, highlighting what went well and what felt challenging. Discuss any improvements made and set intentions for the following week.

This regular reflection helps reinforce a growth mindset and bolsters self-awareness.

Before Season / Start	Talk with child about what they want out of sport (fun, improvement, meeting new people) and set 1-2 goals together.
Weekly	Attend one practice or game with mindset in mind; after, ask what they felt good about and what they’d like to work on. Practice gratitude for effort.
Daily (if possible)	Encourage some mental skills: have them visualize practice or game, use breathing or focus cues. Model calm responses yourself.
When Loss or Mistake	Reflect together: What went well? What learning came? Make plan for growth rather than blame.
Ongoing	Encourage variety (try different sports), rest and recovery, and maintaining other interests outside of sport to balance identity.

Research in youth sport psychology shows that building a performance mindset is not about pushing kids to win at all costs. It is about helping them develop resilience, optimism, confidence, and motivation from within. Parents play a key role by how they talk, respond, set expectations, and model behaviour.

By supporting young athletes with empathy, celebrating effort, encouraging autonomy, and teaching them to see mistakes as learning, parents can help foster a performance mindset that serves not only in sport but throughout life.

Looking for more information on Sport Psychology and Performance Mindset? Read Sport Psychology and the Importance of a Performance Mindset

References

Zhang, N., Du, G., Tao, T. (2024). Empowering young athletes: the influence of autonomy-supportive coaching on resilience, optimism, and development. Frontiers in Psychology. Frontiers

Association between sports participation and resilience in school-aged children and adolescents (2024). Frontiers in Psychology. Frontiers

SBPYD intervention study: Cultivating Resilience in Youth: Assessing the Psychological Benefits of Sport-Based Development Programs. JSFD. (2025) Journal of Sport for Development+1

Systematic review of parent-education programs which target psychosocial parental support in youth sport.

Kimberly Freeman

Bachelor's of Psychology, Dip Counselling, Registered Counsellor, founder of Shifting Perspective Counselling, based on the Sunshine Coast, Australia.