What Is IFS Therapy? A Simple Guide to Parts Work

A Gentle Introduction to Parts Work

Have you ever felt pulled in two directions? Perhaps one part of you wants to speak up, while another worries about upsetting someone. Or you know you need a break, but a voice in your head insists you should keep going. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is an approach that helps people understand the different parts of themselves.

Internal Family Systems, usually called IFS, offers a way to understand these experiences. Its central idea is that we all have different parts of ourselves. You don't need to have a particular diagnosis to recognise this. Think of the part that feels confident with friends, the part that becomes anxious before a difficult conversation, or the part that criticises you after a mistake.

What does “parts work” mean?

Parts work means getting curious about these different responses instead of immediately trying to silence or change them.

Imagine you agree to help someone when you're already exhausted. Later, you feel frustrated with yourself.

Looking at this through a parts lens, you might notice:

• A part that wants to say no because you need rest.

• A part that says yes because it fears disappointing the other person.

• A critical part that tells you off afterwards.

Rather than deciding which part is “the problem,” you might ask what each one is trying to do for you. The part that says yes may have learned that keeping others happy helps you feel accepted or safe. Understanding that does not mean you have to keep saying yes. It can help you respond with more choice and less self-criticism.

If you often find yourself saying yes when you need to rest, you may also recognise the patterns discussed in my article on ADHD emotional dysregulation in women.

The different kinds of parts in IFS therapy

IFS describes some parts as protectors. They try to prevent us from feeling hurt or overwhelmed. One protector might plan carefully and work hard to avoid criticism. Another might help us disconnect, withdraw or seek distraction when feelings become too intense.

For more on how pressure and fear of mistakes affect the way we speak to ourselves, read Confidence Under Pressure: How to Overcome Fear of Failure.

The model also describes more vulnerable parts that carry painful feelings or beliefs, sometimes linked to earlier experiences. For example, a strong reaction to feeling left out today might connect with an older feeling of not belonging.

These are ways of making sense of our inner experience. You do not have to identify every part or fit yourself neatly into a category for the idea to be useful.

What is “Self” in IFS?

Alongside parts, IFS describes Self: the capacity to meet what is happening inside us with qualities such as curiosity, calm and compassion.

This does not mean feeling calm all the time. If you are overwhelmed, it may be hard to access that perspective. The aim is to create a little room to notice a feeling without being entirely swept up in it. Instead of “I’m hopeless,” for example, you might recognise, “A part of me feels hopeless right now.”

That small shift can make it easier to listen to what you need and decide what to do next.

Does parts work mean something is wrong with me?

No. Having conflicting thoughts and feelings is a common human experience. Parts language is one way to talk about it, and some people find it much easier than trying to explain everything as a single emotion.

You are also welcome to use different words. You might prefer “a side of me,” “a feeling,” or simply “I’m torn.” Good counselling should make space for language that feels comfortable to you.

How might this come up in counselling?

Parts-based ideas can be helpful when you notice patterns that are difficult to shift, such as people-pleasing, harsh self-talk or feeling caught between wanting closeness and needing distance.

We might slow down and explore when a response appears, what it feels like, and what it may be trying to protect. There is no need to force a painful memory or push past what feels manageable. You remain involved in deciding what we explore and at what pace.

You can read more about the person-centred foundation of my work and the other approaches I draw on in Counselling Approaches.

At Shifting Perspective Counselling, my approach is person-centred and tailored to the person in front of me. I’m continuing to learn about IFS and may draw on ideas such as noticing and understanding parts where they feel helpful.

If you are curious about your own patterns or would like support making sense of an inner conflict, you are welcome to get in touch or book a session.

About the Author

Kimberly Freeman is a counsellor at Shifting Perspective Counselling on the Sunshine Coast, supporting individuals, couples, families, parents and young people through grief and loss, life transitions, relationship stress, ADHD, parenting challenges, FIFO life and emotional overwhelm. Kimberly offers a warm, person-centred and practical counselling approach, helping clients feel heard, supported and more able to navigate difficult seasons of life with clarity and compassion.