How do I talk to my child about death?

Use simple, clear language like 'died' instead of 'went to sleep.' Be honest and open, even if the conversation is difficult. It's okay to admit you don't have all the answers.

Is it normal for children to grieve differently from adults?

Yes. Children often express grief through play, behaviour changes, or repeated questions. They may not grieve all at once and might revisit their grief over time as they grow and understand more.

Should I hide my own emotions from my child?

No. Showing your own grief can help normalize emotions and reassure your child that it’s okay to feel sad or confused. Just be mindful to share in ways that are age-appropriate and not overwhelming.

What if my child doesn’t want to talk about their grief?

That's okay. Not all children want to talk. Offer alternative outlets like drawing, storytelling, or memory boxes. Let them know you're available to talk when they're ready.

When should I consider professional counseling for my child?

If your child’s grief interferes with daily life, persists intensely over time, or you’re unsure how to support them, professional counselling can help. It provides a safe space and coping tools tailored to your child’s age and needs.

How to Support a Grieving Child: A Parent’s Guide to Navigating Loss with Compassion

Kimberly Freeman, BA.Psych, Dip.Couns, Registered Counsellor
Apr 14
3 min read

Updated: May 7

Grief is hard for anyone, but it can be especially confusing for children. Whether your child has lost a parent, grandparent, sibling, friend, or pet, their emotions may come out in surprising ways. As a parent or caregiver, your support plays a powerful role in their healing process.

In this guide, we’ll explore how children experience grief at different ages and how you can help—based on research-backed insights from child grief studies.

Understanding Grief in Children

Grief in children varies depending on their age and developmental stage. According to the article Developmental Manifestations of Grief in Children and Adolescents:

Young children may not fully understand that death is permanent. You may notice bedwetting, clinginess, or pretend play about death.
School-aged children might start asking deeper questions about death, while struggling with sleep, mood changes, or focus.
Teenagers tend to grieve more like adults but may hide their emotions or show them through anger, withdrawal, or risky behavior.

“Children may exhibit sadness and longing, but they may also appear unaffected at times—this is not denial, but rather a developmental coping strategy.”— Alvis et al., 2022

Your Role as a Grief Supporter

As a caregiver, you are the most important grief resource your child has. The American Academy of Pediatrics emphasizes the importance of caregivers as “key grief facilitators.”

Here’s how to support a grieving child:

Model healthy grieving – Let your child see you cry and cope in healthy ways.
Keep routines as normal as possible – This helps kids feel safe and grounded.
Use clear and honest language – Say “died” rather than “went to sleep” to avoid confusion.
Create space for emotional expression – Let them talk, draw, journal, or just sit quietly.

“Open communication with caregivers is one of the strongest predictors of healthy adjustment in grieving children.”— Sandler & Kaplow, 2022

What Do Grieving Children Need to Know?

In What Bereaved Children Want to Know About Death and Grief, researchers found that grieving kids often ask:

“Where did they go?”
“Was it my fault?”
“Will you die too?”

Don’t worry if these questions keep coming up—children process grief in cycles. Keep answering gently and honestly in age-appropriate ways supporting the grieving child.

Creative Expression: Grief Maps and Memory Tools

A child painting their feelings in response to grief.

The study Children’s Grief Maps shows that art and play can help children express grief when they don’t have the words.

Try offering:

Drawing or painting feelings
Creating a “memory box” with photos or letters
Using storybooks about grief
Grief journals or feelings charts

These tools can reduce anxiety and open up conversations.

Key Takeaways for Helping a Grieving Child

Grief looks different at every age
Let your child see your emotions
Stick to familiar routines
Be open to questions and silence
Offer creative and emotional outlets
Seek grief counselling for kids if needed

FAQ: Parenting Through Child Grief

Q: Should I cry in front of my child?

A: Yes. Showing emotion teaches your child that feelings are normal and okay.

Q: What if my child won’t talk about it?

A: That’s normal. Offer gentle opportunities to talk, draw, or play. Don’t force conversations.

Q: When should I consider professional help?

A: If your child shows prolonged sadness, fear, or behavioral changes that disrupt daily life, consider speaking with a grief counsellor for children.

You’re Not Alone—We’re Here to Support You

If you're parenting through grief, you don’t have to do it alone. Whether your child is withdrawing, asking hard questions, or struggling with overwhelming emotions, you are their safe place.

If you’d like to talk with someone or get connected to professional support for your family, reach out today. Grief is heavy—but support can lighten the load.

Reference List

Christ, G. H. (2000). Healing children's grief: Surviving a parent's death from cancer. Oxford University Press.
Dalton, M. M., Rapa, E., Stein, A., & Ziebland, S. (2019). Communication with children and adolescents about the diagnosis of a life-threatening condition in their parent. The Lancet, 393(10176), 1164–1176. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0140-6736(18)33202-1
Dowdney, L. (2000). Annotation: Childhood bereavement following parental death. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 41(7), 819–830. https://doi.org/10.1111/1469-7610.00670
Rosner, R., Kruse, J., & Hagl, M. (2010). A meta-analysis of interventions for bereaved children and adolescents. Death Studies, 34(2), 99–136. https://doi.org/10.1080/07481180903492422
Worden, J. W. (1996). Children and grief: When a parent dies. The Guilford Press.

Counselling on the Sunshine Coast