Grieving a Loved One to Suicide: Support, Resources & Coping Strategies

Content Warning: This article discusses suicide bereavement. Please remember to be gentle with yourself and take care for yourself as you read.

Understanding Your Grief When Losing a Loved One to Suicide

Losing someone to suicide is a life-altering and devastating experience.

The grief can feel confusing, isolating, and overwhelming. If you are mourning someone who died by suicide, know this: your feelings are real and valid. Your grief is seen. You are not alone.

According to the World Health Organization, over 700,000 people die by suicide each year globally, leaving behind millions of survivors of suicide loss who must cope with the emotional and psychological aftermath (WHO, 2021).

The Many Emotions Suicide Loss Survivors Face

Grief after suicide often brings a storm of conflicting emotions. Unlike other forms of bereavement, suicide loss is strongly associated with higher levels of guilt, shame, rejection, and trauma (Jordan & McIntosh, 2011).

You may find yourself asking questions that echo through the silence:

• Could I have done something?

• Why didn’t I see the signs?

• Were there signs?

• Why did they leave?

• Wasn’t I enough?

  
  

These are natural questions — and incredibly painful ones. Yet, research shows that suicide is typically the result of complex mental health conditions, not a single cause or missed opportunity (Joiner, 2005).

Often, the internal pain the person was carrying was invisible, even to those closest to them.

Grief Doesn’t Follow a Straight Line

You might feel okay one day, then be overwhelmed the next — especially on anniversaries, birthdays, or unexpected triggers. This nonlinear journey is a hallmark of grief, particularly after a traumatic loss.

Research from the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention shows that individuals grieving suicide are more likely to experience complicated grief, where emotions may remain intense for longer and interfere with daily life (Feigelman, Jordan & Gorman, 2009).

However, complicated doesn’t mean impossible — healing is still possible.

You might revisit certain emotions many times over:

• Guilt – “I should have known.”

• Shame – “What will others think?”

• Confusion – “How did this happen?”

• Anger – at them, at yourself, at the world.

• Longing – for just one more moment together.

Let these emotions pass through you without judgment. They are a part of your grieving process, not a measure of how well you're coping.

Why Your Grief Deserves Care

After a suicide loss, many people take on the role of caretaker — planning the funeral, supporting family, or managing appearances. Yet your grief matters just as much.

You deserve:

• A safe space to express your feelings openly

• Support that is gentle, informed, and non-judgmental

• Time — as much as you need — to mourn, process, and find your footing

There is no timeline for this grief. And there is no single “right” way to navigate it.

Finding Support After Suicide Loss

You don’t have to do this alone. In fact, studies show that survivors of suicide loss benefit significantly from peer support, counseling, and connection with others who understand (Andriessen, Krysinska, Hill & Reifels, 2019).

You may find support through:

• Grief counselling or trauma-informed therapy

• Peer support groups, such as those facilitated by StandBy Support or Support After Suicide

• Journaling, art, or other creative outlets

• Trusted loved ones who can simply listen

Australian Resources:

• Lifeline Australia – 13 11 14

• StandBy Support After Suicide – standbysupport.com.au

• Support After Suicide – supportaftersuicide.org.au

A Gentle Word to Carry With You

If you’ve made it this far, you’ve done something incredibly courageous — you've faced your grief head-on. That matters.

There is no shame in struggling, no weakness in asking for help, and no rulebook for what grief “should” look like. Healing does not mean forgetting. It means learning to live with love and loss side by side.

Take it one moment at a time. Your pain is real. Your healing matters. You are not alone.

If you're grieving a loss to suicide and looking for a safe space to talk, I offer counselling that honours your story, free from judgment. When you're ready, I’m here to walk beside you.

Frequently Asked Questions About Suicide Loss Grief

Q1: Is it normal to feel angry after a loved one dies by suicide?

Yes, anger is a very common emotion after suicide loss. You may feel angry at the person, at yourself, or at the circumstances. These feelings are valid and part of the grieving process.

Q2: How is grief after suicide different from other types of grief?

Suicide grief often involves intense guilt, confusion, and stigma, making it more complex than other bereavements. Support from trained counsellors and peers can be especially helpful.

Q3: Where can I find a support group for suicide loss survivors?

You can connect with support groups through organizations like StandBy Support After Suicide, Lifeline, or Support After Suicide Australia.

Q4: How long will I grieve?

There is no set timeline for grief. Everyone’s healing process is unique. Some people may feel intense grief for months or years, while others may experience waves over a lifetime.

Q5: Can grief counseling really help?

Yes. Grief counselling provides a safe, confidential space to process emotions, reduce isolation, and find ways to move forward while still honouring your loss.

If you or someone you know is experiencing grief after a loss to suicide and needs a safe space to process please reach out.

References:

World Health Organization. (2021). Suicide. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/suicide

Jordan, J. R., & McIntosh, J. L. (Eds.). (2011). Grief after suicide: Understanding the consequences and caring for the survivors. Routledge.

Joiner, T. (2005). Why people die by suicide. Harvard University Press.

Feigelman, W., Jordan, J. R., & Gorman, B. S. (2009). Personal growth after suicide loss: Cross-sectional findings suggest growth after loss may be linked to time, less depression and more support. OMEGA - Journal of Death and Dying, 59(3), 181-202.

Andriessen, K., Krysinska, K., Hill, N. T. M., & Reifels, L. (2019). Effective suicide postvention: What we need to know and do. Crisis: The Journal of Crisis Intervention and Suicide Prevention, 40(1), 1–4.

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